Thoughtful Thursday: thoughts for women only

Warning: includes β€œadult” language, may offend some! πŸ™‚ β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” ——————————————————————————————————————– β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” ————————————————————————————————————–

Thoughtful Thursday: thoughts for women only

Protests in India as Karnataka state moves to ban hijabs in schools – BBC News

An Indian state has shut high schools and colleges for three days after a row over the hijab that has gained international attention after Nobel Prize-winner Malala Yousafzai weighed in. The government of Karnataka state in southern India took the decision after protests by students over Muslim women wearing headscarves in the classroom escalated into […]

Protests in India as Karnataka state moves to ban hijabs in schools – BBC News

Worth A Shot πŸ’‰

“Please be positive…Please be positive.”

I reiterated, walking back and forth in the bathroom holding the pregnancy test. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at the age of twelve. I felt it wasn’t as severe as people said it was and handled it like a joke in my seventeen years of fighting. I started using the insulin pump a year after I was diagnosed. Yet, even with the best device, My A1C was above 9.0 for many years. After getting married and moving to Dallas from NYC a year later, I made an appointment with my new endocrinologist. 

“There is no way you can even think about having a baby right now.” She said. My glucose was running too high, which would lead to congenital disabilities in my child if I got pregnant. So I started watching videos of diabetic-to-be mothers and reading about diabetes and pregnancy. Watching what I eat, how much, and exercising dailyβ€”finally bringing my A1c down to a 5.8 in a year. It wasn’t an easy ride, but I had a supportive husband and family. Excited, I booked my first family planning appointment with a gynecologist. I waited alone patiently in the room, listing down all the questions I wanted to ask in my head. Soon as she walked in, she handed me a paper. A paper with “diabetes and risk” listed on top. With all the different types of birth defects listed on the bottom. I told her my glucose had been well in control, but she remarked that I was still at high risk. She talked about how my baby would be ‘big’ or have ‘spinal Bifida’. Everything she said made me not want to have a child. I left the clinic heartbroken. 

I arrived home crying to my husband, telling him what had happened handing him the paper the doctor had given me. He thought what my gynecologist had said was absurd and suggested going to another doctor. I joined online groups and downloaded the what to except app to get my questions answered. I was relieved to know many expecting type 1 diabetic mother were trying their best to help me understand. One mom told me that it wouldn’t be an uncomplicated pregnancy, but it is worth a shot.   

Many women with diabetes are still fearful of getting pregnant, even with well-controlled diabetes. Some think they cannot get pregnant unaware that diabetes does not affect fertility. If you visit gynecologists today, some don’t understand that having prediabetes and controlling it throughout pregnancy is different than gestational diabetes. In gestation diabetes, a woman finds out her pancreas is not making enough Insulin after hitting the second trimester and she struggles to control her glucose. Many women diagnosed with gestational diabetes don’t even take insulin and can control it with carb counting. After having the baby gestational diabetes is cured unfortunately that is not the same case for women who are prediabetic or type 2.

In contrast, type one diabetics work with their endocrinologist every few months to stabilize their glucose levels. Many of us type ones have been diagnosed since we were children. We are keeping track of our sugar with CGM and insulin pumps daily. Many because of how expensive diabetic supplies are still use needles and insulin pens to control the highs and the lows. That being said, with the proper treatment, women with diabetes can have a healthy baby just like a woman without.Β 

I peeked at my pregnancy test in disbelief…Two lines it is. 

Family of man killed in Redbridge collision appeal for witnesses to help police investigation

The family of a man killed in a collision in Redbridge haveΒ appealed for anyone with information about the collision to come forwards and speak to police.Officers were called at approximately 21:20hrs on Friday, 17Β December 2021, to Hainault Road, Redbridge,Β to reports of a collision involving a motorcyclist and an Audi TT vehicle. London Ambulance Service attended […]

Family of man killed in Redbridge collision appeal for witnesses to help police investigation

Orange Jumpsuit Or A Shroud?

Written By- Mubina C

“He doesn’t let me see my child!” 

Erica shouted at the other person on the line. It was my second year in college. We had 15 minutes for the Biology class to start and were both waiting outside the lecture hall. She hung up the phone in rage, wiping her tears with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. I could not resist and asked her if she was ok. She looked down in misery with tears dropping on her open textbook. She told me she was fighting a complicated custody battle of her four-year-old son. 

Erica got pregnant when she was a junior in high school. Afraid to be a single parent, she continued to stay in an abusive relationship with her child’s father. One day during an argument, Erica’s boyfriend attempted to beat her. To save herself, she threw a paperweight at him, which accidentally hit her son. He was hurt so severely that they had to take him to the ER, where her boyfriend, upset about Erica fighting back, accused her of hitting her son and child neglect. Since Erica didn’t have a stable job after high school and never contacted domestic violence support about her abuse, her boyfriend was given temporary custody. She luckily didn’t go to prison because the act was proven unintentional but reckless. However, she had to take court-ordered parenting classes and pay an attorney $3,000, given to her by friends and family. Erica decided to transform her life while continuing to fight for her son.

I wondered how many Erica’s there were in the U.S prison who weren’t that fortunate. How many women linger in an abusive relationship with their children too scared to get out? End up getting killed? Alternatively, sent to jail for attacking their abuser in self-defense?. Even with domestic violence support and human services, it is not always easy for abuse victims to get up and walk out. Even after the abuser is detained, he could get out of jail in less than two years. Unfortunately, there is little to prevent a released abuser from returning and repeating the abuse despite issuing a restraining order. 

Few victims 

  • Nan hui Jo escaped an abusive relationship by fleeing to her home country with her daughter. The father reported her for child abduction in 2009. She stated that she didn’t know that she and her child could not leave the country to escape and not violate her U.S citizenship in 2014. She served 175 days in jail and lost her child’s custody. 
  • Marissa Alexander was prosecuted for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon to protect herself from an abusive ex-boyfriend. She fired shots at the garage door when she couldn’t get it to open and escape. Even though no one was injured, she was sentenced to 20 years in jail. However, her conviction was overturned in 2013, and she renegotiated a deal to serve three years in prison and two years on house arrest.
  • Bresha Meadows, 14 years old, shot and killed her abusive father in Ohio in 2016. She had reported her father to authorities multiple times but was dismally turned away. She spent a year in juvenile detention. 

The list goes on…

The statistics

In 2018, van der Leun started a project to provide that context and tell the complete stories of battered girls and women serving time for their victimhood being criminalized. Out of 5,098 surveys being sent to 45 detention facilities in 22 states, only 608 were completed. 60% reported abuse before being incarcerated. 43% confirmed their partner abused them. In comparison, 41% killed their abusers while claiming to be protecting themselves. That is 250 women serving years in prison for self-defense. Sadly, This is not even 1/3 of the actual numbers.

Around 4,000 women are killed yearly due to domestic violence in the United States. Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship. So what options are there for women repeatedly traumatized by abuse other than leaving their home in a body bag or handcuffs?